Is My Bed Really Dead?

Lets just get to the point shall we?  Lesbian bed death - and no I'm not talking about the Lesbian Bed Death band (they scare me).  When you hear the term "Lesbian bed death" what's your automatic reaction?  For me, I pictured two women who have been together for 20 years who just didn't have sex anymore.  I mean lets face it most people after 20 years together just don't have sex anymore...right?

So, why are we hearing that it happens so much more often than anyone would like? Dr. Pepper Schwartz coined the term Lesbian Bed Death term in the early 80's.  But depending on who you talk to - (or whose opinion you read) there are several factors that enable this craptastic thing to occur.  Ladies, lets face it - regardless of why it happens it happens - to all of us at some time.  If it doesn't you're either really lucky, or just haven't been with anyone longer than six months.

As to why it happens - that's up to debate, from hormones, to stress, to everyday life. Several things contribute to the cold bedom that we all fear. So my question is what do we DO about it?!

For me, I know I was the cause several years ago - back in the days where I thought I was important and very busy.  (Now I know better - I'm pretty unimportant in the scheme of things)  :)

But the most important lesson I've learned through the cold nights and lesbian bed deathery, is even though you both have different lives, stressers, and things that get in your way - it's important to continue to verify your relationship.  A lot of times we equate sex with love and also use it as a general indicator as to how our relationship is doing.

But there are other things we need to factor too.  If she still makes your heart melt when you look at her, if you still get that shock when you touch, then it's important to hang in there.  Life, especially now with the economy the way it is and everyone scrambling to find their way again - it takes its toll on all of us.

So my  very amateur advice is this - stick it out.  Life will always suck sometimes, in the bed and elsewhere.  If you have someone that makes your life complete, most of the times, know that the bed death is only a phase, a phase that if my sources are correct straight people go through too!  Worse comes to worse grab your rabbit (or whatever) and have at it - maybe that's just the jump start your girl needs to get involved too.