The Gay Games?

The Olympics are almost over - thank God!

Ok not that I'm not a huge fan, and DVR-ed pretty much every event - but after a while, you see one person go down a hill, you've seen 'em all go down. I'm looking forward to the closing ceremony - not sure it I'll watch it but it'll be nice to have a break from seeing the incessant coverage of some random person you maybe hear about once every four years...  OK that sounded a little mean but admit it - you all think it too!
But the Olympics are done or are they? 

I just remembered the Gay Olympics are this summer!! Notice the logo similarities btw - both people shaped with disproportionate legs... lol ok ok...

When I first heard about the Gay Olympics a few years agoI wasn't sure if it was a good idea. One of my main pet peeves is when we as people, take our differences and flaunt them.  I'm not talking about PRIDE or drag shows but for example: The Black Entertainment Channel or even LOGO - my first response to both was - if there was a white or "straight" channel the ACLU would be all over that like Hillary Duff on her new fiancee (sorry I just HAD to go there). Don't get me wrong, I LOVE LOGO  - especially RuPaul's Drag Race - AND would LOVE to work there (At LOGO that is) I mean check out this show:

Watch Gay Video & Lesbian Movies

Anyway, why SHOULD there be a Gay Games? What's the point? Well here's what their website says:

Based on the principles of Inclusion, Participation and Personal Best, the Games welcome everybody, regardless of their sexual orientation, age, gender, race, religion, nationality, ethnicity, physical challenge, political beliefs, physical ability, athletic/artistic skills or HIV/health status. There are no minimum athletic standards to qualify for the Games. The only requirement is the desire to support the ideals of the Games. People with specific needs or disabilities are integrated as full-fledged participants, volunteers, officials or spectators. By accepting the Games' challenge to reach for their personal best in sports, artistic and cultural activities, all Games participants automatically become winners.

Ok I totally dig that. In fact, I admire it. It's not an elitist best of the best gays event it's more of a communion. There are medal ceremonies and competitions but there are also parties, a celebration of life with participants from six continents - all together for one reason.  So yes, I am excited about the Gay Games in Germany this summer.  I would love to participate - or even volunteer! And even though I may not have heard of ANY of the athletes, I have a feeling it will be just as exciting as the "Real Olympics".   Anyone planning to attend?

EnGAYged?

Recently I've discovered that engagements are like yawning - they're catchy and spread rapidly and no, you don't sense any resentment (ok maybe a little). A lot of my friends have recently gotten engaged - it doesn't mean I'm not COMPLETELY excited for them but they're all straight too.

So I wonder:

How does a gay/lesbian couple go about an engagement?

I'm afraid to admit that I've only been to one lesbian wedding - and it WEIRDED ME OUT! Not because it was two women getting married (clearly) but because - well it was just weird, we knelt on the ground, witnessed a random play, a guinea pig and there were weapons on the wall. Um, I mean congrats to you both it was lovely.  =D

Anyway, I understand different strokes for different folks, and maybe I'm just sensitive here, but I feel like there a LOT of obstacles for same sex couples in terms of marriage aside from the whole is it legal in your state thing.  Am I wrong on this one?

So where do we go in terms of inspiration, support etc??  I actually have one of my newly engaged friends HP (no not Harry Potter) to thank for this - thanks Hedda.

So You're EnGAYged or http://www.soyoureengayged.com/.

Completely fabulous for those of you wanting to document your wedding, find friendly vendors and locations and grab the perfect photog.  Maybe it's just me but key components for a relaxing wedding for me, would be:

A)  Find a place I felt comfortable and welcomed
B) Had professionals (preferably gay) behind me that have been there before

It may sound simple - and I don't want to sound like "GAY ONLY". I understand that straight planners can be just as accepting and wonderful as anyone else but it's still good to find resources out there that are "For Gays By Gays".  Anyone else have sites they use or have used in the past?

Does God Hate Me?

Big Love - One of my favorite shows on HBO.  I don't even know why but I'm completely addicted to it and I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in this one. 

Throughout the show along with themes of religious freedom and polygamy - Big Love also introduces the now acting compound Prophet Alby Grant (played by Matt Ross).  Alby albeit a total douche, is a closet case homosexual and at times you even feel sorry for the guy.

As the story plays out Alby meets and falls in love with a lawyer charged with auditing him and the compound he runs (clearly it has to be this confusing it's an HBO show).  But on this week's episode we gain interesting insight into Alby's lover Dale Tomasson (Ben Koldyke).

The man is troubled - he explains he's gone though electronic shock therapy, 30 years of counseling and numerous other things to reverse his SSA (Same Sex Attraction). In the end, Dale commits suicide, inevitably devastating Alby the douche.  In the clip below you'll see a little bit more and probably become addicted yourself if you haven't already:

Ep. 40: Inside the Episode

  
It's no surprise that the church elders tell him that he's not working hard enough but it is interesting to bring up the supposed involvement of the Mormons and Prop 8 in California. If you haven't already heard about it/seen it there was a movie out at the Sundance Film Festival 8: The Mormon Proposition - that basically illustrated the Mormon push to have Prop 8 reversed.

It's interesting how much supposed power religious figures posses, but no matter how you stage it the stance against homosexuality I believe is always based on fear and fear alone.  And lets face it, same sex marriage is spreading across the country whether you like it or not.  Why would you ever want to make enemies with a group of people - when instead we could become a viable and important part of your flock. The Mormons messed up on this one.  The more you embrace the difference, the more you embrace humanity and therefore God - isn't that how it goes?

Who's getting Married?

Twitter is alight this morning! Tell me something new right? But the main theme today? The Carrie Prejean engagement to Ram's QB Kyle Boller...just in time for Valentines Day...:SIGH:  Ugh.  OK for those of you that don't know (or were under a rock - I'm not judging). Carrie Prejean was that California beauty queen that openly spoke out about Gay marriage.  Probably not the best career move for a CA girl but hey that's her prerogative.

Anyway people are fired up.  Why? because she's getting married when she doesn't think others should be allowed to.
I get it - but I don't see the big deal here (and yet I'm blogging about it ironic I know). 
But plenty of angry conservative folks get engaged and married everyday. I'm pretty sure Anita Bryant was and probably still is married.  George Bush - still married.




John McCain is still married - although we all love his wife.
Let's face it that's ballsy - we heart her.

Anyway - what's the point here? I get that Prejean believes in taking away the rights of others. Newsflash: A LOT of people do.  It doesn't mean we need to make a big deal of her marriage I have a feeling it won't make much of a splash down the road. She's young - 22 and who knows what's going to happen here?  Another divorcee' on a reality show?  Maybe - or maybe she'll fall on her head and have an epiphany, who knows?



I'm not saying she'll change her mind but free speech is free speech.  So she gets married and she's against everyone else that wants to.  If she doesn't get the hypocrisy now she's not going to get it EVER. It's like trying to train a beagle to speak French.  You're never going to hear the little sucker utter "fromage" no matter how much cheese you let him eat.

So ok I get that it's causing a bit of an uproar but lets focus on other things - say gay marriage in CA...I'm just sayin'.

What's in a name?

I tend to wonder what the point is in defining oneself as gay, straight, trans gender...  I agree that sometimes we need labels - descriptive words to further explain actions.

"I am attracted to women, therefore I am a lesbian"

Fine.  Do it up. But like in my first posting about coming out at work I know that sometimes a name, or label changes the way people see you, look at you, talk to and about you.   I get it, we all do. Finding the courage to come out - explain yourself, it's a good thing I think.

So when I  get an email about Glenn Beck shooting off his mouth AGAIN I have to laugh. Don't get me wrong, I don't catch the guy's show.  I think I should just to see what the heck will come out of his mouth next. But apparently this time he went off about Barack Obama's first name.  What a dumb arguement.

Here's the segment provided by Media Matters.  As you can see it's the main story on their page. But to be fair he usually is - not that he probably doesn't deserve it.



Ok so as a child Barack Obama wanted to fit in and changes his name to Barry.  But he doesn't CHANGE it back.  His name IS Barack.  Deal with it.  It's not like he ran for President as Barry or even John Obama.  We all knew what his name was and he was still elected.  Sorry Beck your candidate just didn't have the votes.

As to whether or not President Obama has terrorist ties or a secret agenda...who knows. Honestly - we don't but we also don't know the true agenda of most people.

And lets face it the Obama Biden logos do look like they're saying Osama bin Laden if you look quickly.  Oh don't tell me you didn't see it too!
It still doesn't mean our President is a terrorist...I don't think.

Anyway the point is Glenn Beck straighten out man (I say  that figuratively). You can be a pundit on TV and radio - do your thing but have a valid argument with something to stand on! Not this bull shit "he changed his name" argument.  I get you lack traditional education, but that's no excuse.

I respect anyone whose opinion or argument has a solid basis even if we completely disagree. I think most people do. But seriously  - this guy?  How does he still have a job?  Thoughts?

Diversity - like pulling teeth?

The Vanity Fair New Hollywood issue is turning heads and not necessarily in a good way.

If you look at the cover what do you see?  Me? I thought "Hey there's that girl from Big Love and a bunch of other people."  BUT depending on who you talk to there's more reason for outcry then just the - "who the hell are these people" response.

It you look more than say .5 secs you might realize the picture itself is a bit shall we say monochromatic -  different shades of white....  Eeeeesh

Nobody wants to point the "hey whitey" finger, but really what's the deal with this cover? The magazine even goes to the trouble of posting a quick video about the shoot:



Umm fail?  Ok I understand, trying to have one of every race gets to be a bit difficult and can look worse for the magazine.  But let's face it - there ARE young women of color who are up and coming, even if Vanity Fair doesn't want to notice.

Selena Gomez is huge right now and apparently dating Taylor Lautner that hottie (or so people tell me) from New Moon. And what about Gabourey Sidibe? She did a remarkable job in Precious and although her future in Hollywood is still questionable I bet she has a great shot of making a name for herself. Those are just two women off the top of my head not to mention countless others out there.

So did Vanity Fair fail?  I say yes or at least they didn't do a great job of coordinating schedules and looking for a larger pool of talent.  Thoughts?

HIV/AIDS Crystal?

According to Reuters:

"British and U.S. researchers said they had grown a crystal that enabled them to see the structure of an enzyme called integrase, which is found in retroviruses like HIV and is a target for some of the newest HIV medicines."

This in undoubtedly huge for everyone, gay, straight, whatever.  It's a great thing that scientists are constantly moving forward on AIDS research - we all know this.  But it doesn't mean that we should have any less caution or awareness for practicing safe sex.

Women that identify as lesbians can still contract the HIV virus, not necessarily via sexual contact with another woman (unless there are open wounds etc) but via needles and even sexual contact with males can spread the virus.  

Another thing to consider is know your donor.   If you're looking to have a child and are going the friend donor route - check his health stats.  If your close enough to get his sperm you're close enough to ask him to get tested.
But aside from HIV, I find it interesting  that there's a lack of information for lesbians regarding STIs and safe sex.  Lets face it - dental dams?  Really?  That's the only thing I can think of that, I suppose, is a physical protection barrier for two women during intimacy.   

But what else do we know? What studies are there? Everything I've read says that woman to woman contact offers very low transmittal risks for AIDS.  Great.  BUT what I always forget about (and maybe it's just me) is that there are other things out there of which we need to be aware.  Warts, herpes,  Hep B - all of these things are easily transmittable from partner to partner or toy to partner.  

Sex toys can very easily become vectors for STIs. Infected partners can leave discharge or fluids, which can introduced into your system if you share items during intimacy. If at all possible use separate items to limit contact.  I'd also suggest boiling your toys to disinfect.  I know some say the dishwasher is an effective way to clean toys but check with the manufactures and those that are silicone clean nicely in a hot pot of water.


For more information I'd check out this helpful page from Avert.  It named a lot of things I had either forgotten or never thought about. Anything listed here surprise you?