When is enough enough?

Passive aggressive behavior - I hate it.  I hate the way it makes me feel whether I'm the receiver or the distributor and I'm working on being more forward and less of a wuss when it comes to confrontations.  Ok let me just step off the soap box here...

And on to the real problem:

I feel like I'm facing the same battle over and over again.  Like most people I love my parents. They're probably two of the most wonderful people on Earth. I would do anything for them and I'm sure they for me. But we keep running into the same wall and I wonder:

When is enough enough?

I'd say in the scheme of things religion is a significant part of my parents' lives, mine too to an extent, but they are certainly bible beaters. I'm all for religious freedom (obviously) and if you wholeheartedly believe that Leviticus is a straight-up proclamation from God himself that means homosexuality is wrong - I respect your opinion.  We may not be friends, but I won't be ass to you about it - why bother?

HOWEVER - I do expect that you be upfront and honest if we respect each other at all.  It's one thing to be a dick to people you don't know.  Just think about the last time you gave that driver who swerved out in front of you the finger.  But if you have an issue with me, and we're friends, or worse family - just come out and say what's on your mind.

So when the parents pull tricks like not inviting the gf to a family event, what's a girl to do?

Here's what I know.  I know I theoretically changed the game - I came out, broke their hearts and ruined their chances of having normal grandchildren (seriously if you've met my brother you know they're screwed in that dept.  Kidding...kind of).

Anyway I get it and I think I've been more than patient and understanding through the years. I've gone to plenty of events alone.  I've listened to their incredibly anti-gay church sermons for holidays, and I've been very respectful in terms of who I come out to - for their sake and theirs alone. And playing the "roommate" card is getting old.

But five years later when planning a birthday party I'm told the reservation just includes me - well my patience only goes so far. So when is it time to put the foot down? Or worse when do you give the ultimatum? If ever?  Clearly this calls for a serious discussion in terms of what is and isn't acceptable. I just never thought I'd have to teach MY parents about how to treat others.  Anyone have suggestions?